Monday 5th October 2020

This planet is believed to be 4.54 billion years old…
The Amazon rainforest is 55 million years old…
A bowhead whale can live for over 200 years…
A tortoise can live to over 150 years…
An elephant, 70 years…
I have just turned 50!…
There is such a fuss over age it seems.  The BIG 50!  It’s a milestone, a half a centruy..  It needs to be celebrated.  As I’m sure I have mentioned before, I am not the most social of creatures, and since lockdown, one of the things I have secretly liked is that I wouldn’t have to go out and endure some birthday part.  
I am curious as to why age can seem like such a defining ‘thing’.  A number that can seem like a characteristic, “He’s 50, he must be old!”  Yet I don’t think I have ever felt as young as I have done recently.  My interests and my passions and my levels of maturity have never really waned since my mid twenties.  Although, i must admit, alot of other things have waned, like the colour of my hair and the quick to aches and pains that I experience and the odd noises I now make when I pick something up off the floor.
However 50 is nothing is your an elehant, a tortoise or a bowhead whale.  It’s a relatively short amount of time when compared to the whole span of others lives, or through the lens of the history of the rainforest, or the whole planet.  50 is like minutes in comparison.
I have spent this year on this pause in our life, as we all have.  I have thought about where I have been and what I have done and where I am going.  This 50, for me is just another number, another day where i get to look back and reflect and move forward.
I had planned to take my new/old fishing rod, a beautiful Allcocks Record breaker split cane fishing rod and engage in my most favourite of moments, by a river or a lake with nothing between me and a fish except, water and thoughts.  However due to the miserable weather, I was instead able to spend the time with my daughter and wife, building my Playmobil DeLorean car from back to the future.  It makes me smile to think that at 50 years old, my wife knows to get me a child’s toy of a DeLorean.
So, for me, turning fifty was never nothing to be feared, anxious or upset about.  It is an opportunity to be thankful that I’m still here, still alive.  That I have been able to do all the things I have done, and work towards doing all the things that I am going to do, and all from the point of view of right now.  Not in some idealistic future fantasy or through regret of past mistakes.  I can appreciate right now where i am, where I’ve been and where I am going.
Perhaps, a DeLorean time machine was a fitting gift, a time machine that allows me to think about before, enjoy my hear and now and smile as I wander towards my future.  It’s just a number, not a definition, not an end, but another day.  It’s an easier attitude for me to have, to not worry about my sunset years, but to realise that I am far from being ‘OUTTATIME’
Sincerely yours, Paul